Though this isn’t a parenting guide (yeesh, I’m the last to know what I’m talking about) I did add parenting anecdotes that helped me through long nights and tearful afternoons as I found my way as a new mom. I’m so grateful for the community of parents I have found since my first child was born.

Take these suggestions only if and when they make sense for you - I am just one mom!

There are endless ways of tackling new parenthood and embarking on the path of caregiving. Amongst my friend group there are people on opposite sides of all the spectrums (sleep theories, feeding methods, discipline styles) and all our kids are thriving and turning out totally fine.

You do you!

Big hugs,

Ana

Congratulations on your baby!

To start, you really just need (all are linked in the paragraphs below):

a feeding plan: boobs or formula for newborns

a diaper plan: disposable or cloth in NB or size 1

a place for baby to sleep (bassinet or DockaTot or crib)

a baby-carrier (any of them)

a white noise machine

5 zip-up sleepers in NB or 0-3 size (10 if you don’t have in-apt washer / dryer)

swaddles: the cotton squares or the zip-up kind.

THAT’S REALLY IT. The rest of the below either is necessary a little later (3 month mark) or is just for funsies!

Pregnancy Books

The three books I personally would recommend universally (after reading more than 10) are Expecting Better, Nurture, and The Confident Parent. The author of Expecting Better, Emily Oster, is a true pioneer of modern parenting thinking, and she just recently wrote a follow-up for birth-thru-toddlerhood called Crib Sheet, which I’ve purchased and will be reading soon (comes highly recommended by other parents!)

These books are pretty no-nonsense and open-minded, rather than being dogmatic and preachy. There are a LOT of schools of thought on parenting, sleep, eating… pretty much everything. You have to do what’s best for you!
 

Boobs + Feeding

I breastfed my daughter for 13 months, and am currently breastfeeding my son, so most of my knowledge is for breastfeeding and I’ll just speak to that here. There’s many ways to go about feeding your baby of course, breastfed, formula fed, or a combo of the two - and none are the “right” or “wrong” way.

(I loved this tracker app for recording feedings!)

If you decide to breastfeed and this is your first baby, I’d consider calling a lactation consultant (or your doula, if you had one) to come to your home, even if you think things are going well, a couple of days after you get home from the hospital. It is worth it at that stage to have someone come see how things are going, before you and your baby are two far into building potentially bad habits. Not your fault - neither of you know what you’re doing! Get a second pair of eyes. (Great gift to ask for from a relative!) Check out Get Boober, in Brooklyn, for in-person and virtual breastfeeding support!)

If you’re in terrible pain from nursing past 3-4 weeks, something might be wrong! Don’t suffer in silence. I had mastitis for a month and didn’t know it because I thought that nursing just hurt that badly. (It can, but not always!) I was pretty traumatized from suffering from mastitis that long, and I had it again week 2 of Beau’s life. Now I take precautions like a daily Sunflower Lecithin softgel (helps prevent the clogs that lead to mastitis) and I avoid underwire bras (potential old wives tale, but seems to hold true for me!)

The infamous Boppy was useless for me - but REALLY found the My Brest Friend pillow to be essential for nursing and I reached for it at every single feeding until baby was bigger (4-ish months) and then I could be more fast and loose with holding them.
 
Breastmilk storage bag: Lansinoh bags are the best. They were recommended to me by every listicle I read, and for good reason. Lay them flat initially so they freeze like bricks, then store them upright to maximize space!
 
Pump: Spectra S1. I have the Spectra S2. The S1 and S2 are identical, only the S1 can operate on its battery, and the Spectra S2 can't. (A feature I wish I had!) Often Insurance will cover the S2, and some insurances will let you pay extra to upgrade to the S1. 

TIP: put a little nipple cream inside the flange to prevent chafing every time you pump! My fave nipple cream is the Motherlove brand… it’s safe for baby so you don’t have to wash it off before baby can nurse!
 
Bottles: All babies are different. I had great success with Comotomo bottles, which I loved for easy-cleaning and cute shape. You can up the nipple “size”, which is noted by a number, as baby grows! Newborns use a 1, then I went to a 2 around 4 months, then to a 3 around 7 months, and we’re still on a 3 coming up on a year. People might warn you that a breast-fed baby should never go past a 1, but that wasn’t an issue for us, Colette was exclusively breastfed until a year and had no issues when I upped the nipple flow number.
 
Bottle cleanser on the go: Medela wipes. Can't hurt to have. I was very germophobic in the beginning, so if you feel this way, allow yourself to feel it. Time will calm you down. 

Medela Quick Clean Breast Milk Removal Soap is pretty much an instant clean. Awesome.

Pacifier: My kids don’t take pacifiers, but my mom friend group seems evenly split between Phillips Avent Soothie (for newborns) and the Mam brand. Buy a couple of each to see which one (if any) your baby prefers! Third option - these ones are the pretty ones you’ve seen on Instagram. Ha.
 
Nursing bras: If you have big boobies (recently, anyway!) I love this soft Cake one. For a "real bra" experience (aka, boobs that aren't as low as your belly button) you may want an underwire version. This Wacoal one is the best one I tried. CAVEAT: If you get or have had repeat clogged milk ducts AVOID bras with underwire, it can create a clog. This is an old wives tale, yes, but I’ve found it to be true-ish. You would definitely rather have saggy boobs than a clog, so let ‘em hang low. My newest go-to is Wacoal’s wirefree version!
 

Diapers and changing-related gear

Changing pad: Keekaroo. I still put a cloth on it to make it soft when babies are brand new, but somehow tossing a blanket on and off it feels easier than undoing a cover, plus a few weeks in you don’t even have to do that anymore.
 
Wipes dispenser: OXO is the best. Hard (but not impossible!) for your kid to kick off the changing table.
 
Diaper rash cream: Aquaphor! But if you do get redness or actual diaper rash, this cream or any of the creams with zinc in them will be the thing that actually makes the rash go away. If baby doesn’t have diaper rash, you don’t have to put ointment/cream on after every diaper change, simply keeping baby clean and freshly diapered is enough.
 
Disposable Diapers: My favorite diapers are Coterie, because they are the softest and never leak. If you try them, you can use code: ANA30 for 30% off your first order! I was a superfan of Coterie for months before they finally reached out to connect with me… and these diapers are truly the easiest thing to recommend because they’re so legitimately better than the rest. But I also like Earth’s Best (they actually make super small NB size), Pampers Pure (no diaper-y smell like normal Pampers) and Bambos.
 
Wipes: Water wipes! They actually work, don’t smell crazy and don’t go dry if you leave the package open for days (ask me how I know!) They work for everything. Get crayon stains out of couches, get chia pudding off toddler faces, they are everything. Coterie’s wipes are a runner-up.
 
Diaper pail: I have an Ubbi, but once baby starts solid foods we just take a poopy diaper out to the trash right away! (In a doggy poo bag!) NOTE: The Ubbi is made of steel and will rust - it isn’t meant to be wiped down with a wet rag! (Ask me how I know this) ALSO the smell is greatly reduced if you cough up the dough for their special bags (I know, feels like a scam) but it truly helps.
 

Cribs / Baby sleep

TIP: When you’re transferring a sleeping baby from your arms to a crib, put them down so their feet touch the surface first… head last! They’re less likely to wake up.

Swaddle: I liked the Sleepea the best for a quick-swaddle… the velcro versions are annoying because the sound of the velcro will wake a sleeping baby! I also used the Miracle Swaddle with some success, once baby got older (2-4 months!) The stages were many, I used both of these plus just cotton square swaddles. I have a swaddle tutorial for a plain swaddle here!
 
Sound machine: That one they use in therapy offices. Yep. Marpac Dohm! I have two of them, around the house, one for each kid. I often use two white noise sources at once, for getting sound sleep in a small apartment with multiple kids (but did this with Colette when it was just her, too, because we shared a bedroom all together) I use as my second white noise source the White Noise App on my phone or an iPad.
 
Dockatot: With my first baby, I slept in the bed with my baby for weeks at first, dockatot-over-covers. Then, I loved it for newborn daytime naps! I still use it in the bathroom for my giant baby as a place to stash her in her towel right when I dump her out of the tub. Been meaning to buy the toddler size! With baby #2, I got the Snoo. I really do love it - email me for more of a review on it! I’ll write that here at some point soon.

At 6-8 months, give them a stuffed animal that becomes their sleep thing, or a “lovie”, and let that help soothe them back to sleep. Everyone approaches sleep uniquely, and I’m no different. I created my own best-practices that didn’t look anything like what my friends were doing, and you can do that too. SO that said, I don’t give much sleep advice here. I do know a great sleep consultant, email me if you want the info! She does flexible plans that aren’t just a veiled derivative of cry-it-out.

I love this Kalon crib because it’s beautiful, but this IKEA one is amazing too. I love the Bloom mini-crib too for apartments.
 
Learning to crawl/walk/move
Best toy: Tiny Love Stroller Arch: This hideous, cheap thing attaches to the Bjorn bouncer and captivated my baby from 3 months til… still.

This play arch and mat goes on the floor, is really nice-looking and a hit with the littles, too. Loved it. Lovevery.

Manhattan Toy makes great stuff. This toy was one of Colette’s favorites for about a year!

This toy was the first thing Colette reached for, ever!
 
Floor tiles: Little Nomad: definitely the least offensive/most stylish foam mats.

Strollers

Strollers are very personal and there are as many varieties as cars.

For city life or traveling, I love the BabyZen Yoyo. You can fold it up and carry it on because it’s so compact, and so far it’s the only one rated for carry-on status on airplanes. For daily Brooklyn use when size doesn’t matter, I love forever and always my Bugaboo Fox.

Changing bag: They’re kind of pointless. I never had one until Colette was over a year old. I have this one, and I use it sometimes. I often just use a tote. Lewis makes a great XL zippered tote that’s great to stash inside a larger bag!

People love their Colugo strollers, I haven’t used one myself but they look cute and high-functioning!
 
Stroller hooks: These are great for treating your stroller as a giant purse!

Car seats

If you think you’ll put your car seat on your stroller, you’ll need an infant car seat (good up to one year). But if you have a car and have a stroller with bassinet feature, you may not ever transfer baby from car to stroller while still strapped in (I never did!) Theoretically its a nice idea because you wouldn’t have to wake baby, but my kids don’t sleep much in cars and when they do they wake up anyway once the motion stops.

With that in mind, when I was buying a second seat for Beau i just picked one that could go from birth to “convertible” stage, the Nuna RAVA, good for 5-50lbs and free of flame retardants completely. It also feels really solidly built, and installs nicely in the car without jiggling around. It feels safe.

Then, back when people could travel and take Ubers, we’d use the Cosco Scenera for on the go trips! I found this under-$50 car seat via one of my Facebook mom groups, and there were 20-30 commenters who agreed (now add me to the list!) that this car seat is amazing due to being super lightweight and easy to seatbelt-install.

Solids

Spoons: Beaba. These are the safest-feeling to me. Kizingo makes cool plates and bowls.

A helpful thing to do around 10 months is start trying to teach baby to drink through a straw. This teddy-bear thing is the clear winner on this front, recommended by speech therapists and early childhood development specialists. We also loved this EZ CUP for learning to sip liquid from an open cup a little later on.

Carriers

Baby carrier: Survey of my mom friends says, your back hurts less with an Ergo than with a Bjorn. I have the Ergo 360. There’s a zillion brands that all have loyal followings, they’re all great. When super-newborn, I loved my Solly wrap, even though I had to watch the you tube video like 10 times first, but then IT WAS EASY! I like a ring sling too. Here’s the Instagrammiest one, Wildbird. I do love it, though I waited for it to go on sale!

Best teether, walker, assorted gear + toys

This weird banana toothbrush and these rainbow keys!

Anything that is ugly and not swedish-inspired will be the thing they want! (sorry! so true!) I still bought a bunch of that beautiful stuff because I couldn’t help myself, but my baby doesn’t touch it.
 
Nail scissors: Don’t cut, battery-operated-file! Use this thing for newborns.
 
Snot sucker: Nose Frida. Or just saline their nose with infant saline drops and they’ll soon sneeze the boogers out! Beau got a cold when just two weeks old (thanks, toddler!) and this saved us.
 
Bouncer: This Baby Bjorn one worked for me from two months until a year! The prettiest one ever is this Bloom one, I had this for Beau and love love it.

Jumper (yes, it’s different!) This classic Jungle one is still in use at our house, far longer than I thought! Start around 5 months, goes until 18 months or so.
 
Walker: V-Tech. My baby and ALL BABIES are obsessed with this thing. MUST HAVE. So ugly. Get over it. BUY.

Ditto for this suction-cup toy. It’s for babies but my two year old still LOVES IT.

Swing: We inhereited a Mamaroo from a friend (check the message boards!) and Colette loved it. Outgrew it quickly, but worth it for those couple months you need it, then pass it along/sell it! (Or buy second-hand on a mommy message board!)

Basic Clothing

Basics at reasonable prices, good-quality cotton, plain with no gendered appliques: everything at Primary! (Especially the Zip Footie!)

Basics that close with magnets: Magnetic Me!

Basics with gentle, pastel patterns, unisex: Quincy Mae!

The only cotton newborn socks/booties that don’t fall off: Livly Sweden! (Their snap footies are SUPER soft and wash really well!)

Designer / Instagrammable / Fun-to-buy Clothing

Feminine staples that aren’t too frilly: Jamie Kay

Bows in the cutest shapes and fabrics: Wunderkin Co.

Leather shoes that are handmade/well made: Adelisa & Co. (Fave sandal, unisex)

Very unisex cotton and cotton gauze basics that fit well, wash well and have great style and colors: Go Gently Nation. (fave item: mustard gauze bloomers)

Australian designer that does beautiful fashion forward casuals in the best way: Millk.co

Best Gifts for a New Mom

Non-Baby:

1. Trish McEvoy Eye Base and Concealer: These two products make me feel like I’ve actually gotten sleep. Pricey, but really a treat for when you feel overwhelmed and just want to look and feel normal for a second! More clever than a candle or massage certificate… and will be cherished daily.

2. Seamless Gift Card, or Fresh Direct grocery delivery. (Just pick things you like! You may introduce things to them they wouldn’t have thought of!)

3. I think supporting a local florist with flowers would be awesome. In Brooklyn, I LOVE Extrafloral.

Baby:

1. These cute Black-and-white stacking blocks (useful as decor or actual stacking!)

2. This wooden natural-wood ring stacker from Odin Parker

3. A cashmere blanket from Parachute (the nicest i’ve ever seen!)

4. Custom gift tags from artist Inslee, customized with the “from” as the baby’s name!

Books for Babies + Toddlers

A few of these are new on our shelves (at age 2) but many of these I’ve been reading to Colette since she was an itty-bitty baby. I selected all ones she actually likes and asks for, and that I know other parents have mentioned too.

SEE MORE

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